Healing From Within: Understanding Trauma and Pain
- Scott Donovan
- Aug 4
- 4 min read
Life has a way of leaving marks on us—not just the kind you can see, but the kind that linger deep inside. We all carry pain in different forms. For some, it’s the memory of a difficult childhood. For others, it’s the loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, or years spent in survival mode, just trying to make it through.
If you're reading this, chances are you’ve lived long enough to have felt some of life’s heavier moments. Maybe you’ve smiled through tears or kept going when it felt like the world was falling apart. That takes strength. Real strength. But sometimes, even the strongest of us need space to feel, to heal, and to be understood.
Let’s talk about trauma and pain—what they are, how they shape us, and how we can begin to move forward.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma isn’t always about the big, dramatic events. Sure, things like abuse, accidents, or disasters are traumatic. But trauma can also come from quieter places: being ignored, feeling unsafe, not being loved the way you needed to be.
In simple terms, trauma is what happens when something overwhelms your ability to cope. It could be one big event or many small ones over time. And it’s not just in your mind—trauma affects your whole body. It can leave you feeling stuck, anxious, numb, or even angry without knowing why.
There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to feel about what happened to you. What matters is how it affected you.
Pain Isn’t Just Physical
Pain and trauma often go hand in hand. Emotional pain can live in the body—tight shoulders, trouble sleeping, stomach issues, even chronic illness. The body remembers what the mind tries to forget.
If you’ve ever been told to “just get over it,” you know how painful that can be. Healing isn’t about pretending things didn’t happen. It’s about finding a way to carry those experiences without letting them control your life.
Why It Hits Harder in Midlife
In your 30s, 40s, and 50s, life often demands more from you. You might be raising kids, caring for aging parents, working long hours, or just trying to stay afloat. There’s pressure to be “okay,” to be the strong one, the provider, the caretaker.
But what happens when your own wounds start catching up with you?
Maybe certain things trigger strong emotions. Maybe you find yourself reacting more intensely than you used to—or feeling nothing at all. These are signs that old pain might still be living inside you, waiting to be seen and heard.
Midlife can be a wake-up call. It's a time when many people start asking, Is this all there is? Why do I still feel stuck? That questioning is painful, but it can also be the start of something new.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Human
One of the most important things to remember is this: You are not broken. You are not weak for feeling pain. And you are absolutely not alone.
Trauma can make you feel isolated, like no one understands what you’ve been through. But so many people are walking around with hidden stories—stories of survival, loss, fear, and quiet resilience. Just because you can’t see someone’s scars doesn’t mean they aren’t there.
Being human means feeling deeply. It means carrying joy and pain side by side. And while trauma can shape your story, it doesn’t have to be the final chapter.
Steps Toward Healing
Healing is not a straight line. Some days will be harder than others. But healing is possible, no matter how long it’s been or how deep the wounds go.
Here are a few gentle steps you can take:
Acknowledge What Happened
You don’t have to have all the answers. Just giving yourself permission to admit, That hurt me, is powerful.
Talk to Someone You Trust
This could be a friend, a therapist, a support group, or even a journal. Speaking your truth out loud (or writing it down) helps release some of its weight.
Be Kind to Yourself
You’ve survived a lot. You deserve the same compassion you’d offer a friend in your shoes. Rest when you need it. Say no when you have to.
Learn to Listen to Your Body
Your body holds so much wisdom. If something doesn’t feel right—if your stomach turns, your chest tightens, or you feel drained—pay attention. These are signals, not weaknesses.
Know That Healing Is Ongoing
You don’t “fix” trauma like fixing a car. You grow around it. You learn new ways to live with the past, while building a better present.
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